Simply Spring #9: Mother's Day and Meltdowns

Dear friends,

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, I hope you've had one.

I had a meltdown this morning.

It was the Perfect Storm of fatigue, back pain, head ache, frustration, assorted mothering challenges, a messy-ish house, and at least one loudly disgruntled child.

We missed church. I retreated to my bedroom in tears.

My oldest daughter (a mommy of three) came over and listened to me moan and gripe, then gave me a neck and head massage, and then sent me back to bed for a nap while she had a "little lecture chat" with her younger siblings.

And somehow, we all managed to enjoy our traditional Mother's Day lunch. It helps that it wasn't at my house and I didn't have to do any of the cooking. We also got the all important family picture with the whole clan - two parents, seven daughters, three sons, two sons-in-law, four grandsons, and one unborn grandchild whose gender will soon be revealed.

Just know that there is much of our family story that this cheerful picture does not show. (If you want to see more of our pictures, including a college graduation and much more, click here: Images of My Month of May.)

So, for those of you who are having a tough time with motherhood right now, I present to you several links on this blog that may encourage you. After that, I'll share a poignant essay called "Motherhood" that I think was written in the 1950's. Enjoy!

• Melancholy
• Hypothetical
• Resilience
• Treasures in Jars of Clay
• My Glorious Dish Towel
• Hope and Glory
• Knowing That She Hath Wings
• The 12 P's of Stress Busting for Moms
• The Proper Pressure
• Image, Identity, Authenticity and Freedom
• Brain Boosting: The Physical Factors
• Sanctuary
• At Our Best Bravely
• Nurturing Naomi: How to Help Yourself or Someone Else Overcome Discouragement
• Disillusioned and Disappointed? Take It to Jesus!
• When Life is Not a Bowl of Cherries

And now the essay I promised.

My Aunt Nancy sent this vintage newspaper clipping to me several years ago, and it has always been a humorous encouragement. 

MOTHERHOOD, by Jeanne Merrihew Lofgren

“A Mother is a maker, a mender, a moderator, and a teacher.

She makes boxer pants and chocolate pudding, law and sometimes order, castles, threats, promises and rabbit suits. She makes horses’ heads from paper bags, little suits from big ones, new dresses from old ones, sunsuits from kitchen curtains, small balloons from popped ones, stew from nothing whatever. She makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and peace when possible.

A Mother is a maker and a mender.

A Mother mends broken dishes and broken hearts, trouser knees, hurt noses and hurt feelings, trouser knees, torn jackets and torn fingers, and trouser knees. She mends old sheets, old rosebushes, old baby dolls and brand new trouser knees.

A Mother is a maker, a mender and a moderator.

She is a moderator in times of war --- civil war, verbal war, insurrection, minor skirmishes, attacks from the enemy; in times of strife, in times of injustice, in times of temper, in times of hairpulling.

A Mother is a maker, a mender, a moderator and teacher.

She teaches how to button buttons and how to say a prayer. She teaches how to hold a knife and fork, how to hang up clothes so they sometimes stay hung, how to sit still in church. She can teach a love of books and of music --- she can even turn child hearts to God. But almost never can she teach how to close a door without a bang or how to come in without bringing in mud.

A Mother can count. She counts calories and blessings, pennies and children’s heads in the car. But she never counts sheep!

A Mother is immune to surprise --- whether it is a glass of water in her desk drawer, a cat sleeping on fresh sheets in the linen cupboard, worms in trouser pockets, good report cards, bad report cards, split foreheads, split infinitives. Nothing ever really surprises her.

But sometimes a Mother reaches despair. The dryer won’t dry when all the clothes are washed and wet. The baby bites the cat’s tail and is scratched for it. Three-year-old dumps the tinker toys by the front door when you expect the minister to call. The baby screams for attention - soothing medications must be halted while Mother sprints to a relentless doorbell. There stand two neighborhood children to report, “Your baby is crying.” Six-year-old after forty-five minutes cannot spell “what”.

Eight-year-old dashes in to say he forgot, but it is his turn to take cookies to his meeting today. Fingerprints all over the house loom suddenly vivid. The ragged edge of the rug seems suddenly dreadful. Three-year-old won’t go outside. The cat won’t come in. The gelatin won’t jell. The sun won’t shine. The stew sticks and the pudding boils over while the phone rings on and on and on. And with it and above it and through it all comes, “Mommy, come and see --- Mommy, come and see”, incessently, monotonously, unendingly from three-year-old.

Mother leans chin on broomhandle and mutters, “Next time I’ll raise chickens, Lord. Children are just too much.”

Then ten-year-old crashes in --- rough and ready, all boy --- to confide, “Mommy, at Cub Scout meeting we had to list the five things most precious to us, and I did: One, God; two, love; three, America; four, babies; and five, sunsets.”

Suddenly the baby’s eyes seem very blue, six-year-old recites from memory the entire 23rd Psalm, which is better than spelling “what”, fingerprints retreat again. Daddy walks in. Really life could not be richer. It is a glory never to be bartered.

Dear Lord, keep the chickens. I’ll carry on for now. And thank you --- from the bottom of my heart.”