Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Melancholy



Yesterday I felt melancholy because....

My feminine hormones were playing their monthly mischief

and

I hadn't slept well

and

there is a whole bunch of stuff 
our family has faced
and is facing 
and will continue to face
that just overwhelms me

and

the economy is tanking
and the world is going to hell in a hand basket
or so it seems if you read the news too much

and

I spent hours doing laundry 
and cleaning the kitchen 
and tidying up the dining room
and I just know someone is going to come along 
and mess it up again and again and again
(they already have, by now)

and

my kids need more help with their home school assignments
than I would prefer to give them - 
and we have to turn it all in at co-op classes on Monday


and

my hands and feet hurt from arthritis
and my back hurt from life-in-general

and

not everyone in my house was even attempting 
to be kind with their words and actions
(that would include me, of course)

and...

(there's more, I'm sure, but lets not dig)


{melancholy indeed}

and so...

What did I do about it?

I cut myself a lot of slack

and

lowered my expectations

and

locked my door and told the kids
they were better off staying away from me
for a little while, at least

and

took a nap

and

thought about a song we sang on Sunday

and

wiped away my tears

and

played my turns on "Words with Friends"

and

hugged and thanked the teenage son 
who told me several times
that I was "a good mom, really"

and

tried to think nice thoughts about God
(with whom I am sometimes angry)

and

took another nap

and

prayed a few little prayers
the "Lord, have mercy!" kind

and

went on the web 
and read a poem
and watched a video

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story 

that my smart daughters mentioned on Facebook

and

by Addie Zierman
who always puts it into words my heart gets

and

wiped away my tears again
(thanks for that, Addie)

and

made dinner for my family

and

avoided watching the presidential debates
(I hate politics)

and

called a close friend
who faces many of the same challenges that I do
who prays for me more often than I pray for anyone
and who helped me think even more nice thoughts about God
(with whom she, too, is sometimes angry)

and 

went to bed
with grace in my head
and didn't wake up until morning

and yes!

I am feeling much better now
thank you very much

{jolly indeed}

"Love Came Down"
by Brian Johnson

If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice
I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe

I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours


(There is more, so listen here: Love Came Down)



Note: The photos in this post were all edited with Picasa. I used the "heat map" feature for the first one, "HDRish" for the second, and a combo of "holga-ish" and "cross process" with the last one.  And of course I used a little creative cropping for all of them.  The P52 Photo Project  theme for the week is "Sad" and my first photo is my submission for that.

P52 with Kent Weakley
P52 Photo Project 

4 comments:

  1. Fun post! The anatomy of a hormonal day with God changing your perspective. so true! Bless you, Gail

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  2. Hey!! It gets better!! I chuckled my way through your post as I remembered those homeschooling days (which are almost gone ;-) In such a fun way you gave such wonderful advice. When hormones are getting to you; a nap is a sure cure...but one I often didn't take. When I did, my sweet children closed my door so I wouldn't wake so soon.

    Thanks for linking up over at WholeHearted Home and sending your fun my way :-)

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  3. That was quite a story, but I'm glad it had a happy ending. As I have been feeling melancholy myself the past few days (but for different reasons than the ones that you gave here), it was good to read your thoughts to know that I am not alone with my melancholy days.

    Blessings!


    ~ Visiting from Raising Homemakers Link-up ~

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  4. Whew...what a relief to give yourself a break!

    Nice blog too!

    ReplyDelete