The Goals Gatherings

Goals gatherings!

That's what I've been up to this past week! Let me back up a bit. A year ago, I posted on Facebook asking if any of my local friends wanted to get together to talk about goal setting. We never did end up doing anything, but the post came up in my memories feed earlier this week and I decided to try again. So many people said they'd love to come but either were too busy or lived too far away, so on a whim, I decided to start a new private Facebook group called "Goals with Virginia Knowles" to share inspiration and resources. That was on New Year's Eve. It kind of took on a life of its own, and now, four days later, we have 282 members who are actively posting and interacting with each other. I love this!

I still wanted to do a local gathering. Some people said they could make it on a Friday evening, and others on a Saturday morning. So I did both. I didn't know exactly who would show up even though I had an RSVP list that kept changing.  I had four pages of handouts ready, which I'll share later in this post. I also bought supplies for making vision boards, which we didn't end up having time to do. 

Four women showed up last night and two more came this morning! Most of them are pictured with me here. I tended to do too much talking in the evening session, but fortunately one of my friends who was helping me moderate, redirected by asking each of us why we were there, and what was our biggest need for goal setting. I am so glad she did that! It's amazing how women can equip one another when we know what each other needs!

Here's an outline of what we talked about! It's not a very linear approach, but then I'm not a very linear person. 

Goals Gathering

Identity >>> Vision >>> Goals >>> Plans >>> Actions >>> Assessments

• Identity: Who you are - gifts, personality, opportunities, experience 
• Vision: What you dream - big picture desires and passions 
• Goals: What you’ll do - what you specifically want to accomplish in real life 
• Plans: How you’ll do it - detailed steps you will take to make your goals happen
• Actions: Doing it - carrying out the plans, adjusting as you go 
• Assessments: How you did it - reviewing how it went, tying up the loose ends, and deciding what you would change for next time

Centered Life:

• Think of a circle with a core and radiating spokes. 
• What is at your core which keeps everything else in place?
• My center is my faith in God that overflows into a desire to serve others. 
• Simplify! Tend to the inner first, then work outward along the spokes.
• Key facets of life: Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, Mental, Social 
• Key spheres of influence: Family, Home, Work, Service, Friendships, Hobbies
• When you live from the center, you can work with peace, joy, and confidence no matter what else is going on around you.
• Don’t forget holistic self-care, tending to who you are and the body you are in. 

Starting Over:

• Moving past failures and disappointments is a part of life!
• Allow yourself to grieve your losses. 
• Learn from your mistakes!  Reframe them as life lessons!
• Own your own responsibility, but don’t take the blame for what is not your fault.
• “Recycle the trash!” Use your experience to help others heal and move forward!
• Let go of bitterness for your own sake. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean trust or reconciliation. 
• Shake off the shame and stigma. Seek out professional help if you’re having a tough time. 
• Start fresh, looking to the future! God gives beauty for ashes, and the oil of joy for mourning! His mercies are new every morning!

Timing:

• What legacy do you want to leave for the future?
• Set long, mid, and short term goals. Work backward from the future and then work forward from now to fill in the gap between here and there.
• Overwhelmed by the immensity of the future? Stick to “just for now” for now. Sometimes it’s all you can do to take the daily steps as you receive a little light for the path. Still try to think a little about the distant future as you are able.
• You may have an idea or dream now that won’t come to fruition until much later! Sometimes you have to let a seed go dormant until it’s ready to sprout. Be watchful! Or maybe it will show up in a different way? Be open!
• What dreams have you had in the past that might be ready to burst into bloom now? What would it take to water and tend them?
• Other times, you could do something now, but it’s not the best time. Save it for later? Or just minimize your time investment for now?
• Our opportunities build with our experiences. You are equipping yourself now for things you don’t even see yet. Be faithful.

Case Studies and Case Management:

• Case Study: Take a step back and look at your life as if you were observing from the outside. Write down everything you can about the situation: the atmosphere, key players, the relational dynamics, what is working, what is not, areas where there has been progress, areas that still need improvement, trouble spots, constraints, resources, anything else? Analyze it from as many angles as you can. Pretend you are a business consultant.
• Manage: Based on your findings, come up with an integrated plan for progress that will holistically and realistically address the major concerns. Make it like a business plan if that helps. Think about people, time, money, and other resources.

Cooperation and Collaboration:

• Our lives involve others, but we can’t control them.  Our goals have to acknowledge that and be more focused on our own actions.
• How will you motivate other people to work with you? What will you do if they don’t? How can you idiot-proof your goals? (We can't completely, but we can try!)
• We can’t always remove negative people from our lives, but we can counteract that by surrounding ourselves with encouraging people.
• Pair up for follow up! Share strengths. Ask for help with what you find hard to do. Offer your help in areas where you have seen success.

Time Management:

• “Habit stack” into a scheduled routine (little to big). When I get up… When I get to work… When I get home… Before I go to bed…
• What are your “time sucks”? Do you need to eliminate them or just limit them?
• Do you use timers or alarms?
• Consolidate similar tasks.
• More ideas at www.thismomgrowsup.blogspot.com category “Get It Done”

Efficiency and Effectiveness: 

• Efficiency is doing things the right way. Effectiveness is doing the right thing! 
• What will it take to do the right thing the right way?

SMART Goals:

• Specific - Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Details!
• Measurable: How much? How many? How will I track progress?
• Attainable: Reasonable? Doable with your resources and constraints?
• Relevant: Worthwhile? Consistent with your own life? 
• Timely: Timelines? Deadlines? Urgency? Rhythm? 

Big and Little: 

• We need to think of both the big picture (telescope) and the little details (microscope).
• The big affects the little. The little affects the big. They are intertwined.
• Big rocks in a jar - get the priorities in first, then work in everything else as it fits.
• Little things - daily habits can make or break your life. Don’t neglect them!
• Baby steps! Don’t get too overwhelmed by the enormity of the goal. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Brainstorming:

• What would you do if time and money were no object?
• What would you do if you could overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles?
• Think and write now as it comes, even if it’s random or crazy. 
• Let it flow freely. Save your tweaking for later. 
• Do you see any themes? Any weird possibilities?
• Essentials may reveal alternatives. Take it down to the basics and think what could possibly work for you for this need, even if it’s not a traditional approach. You could get what you really want by decluttering a bunch of peripheral desires.

Organizing Your Thoughts:

• Lists - any kind! Where will you keep them?
• Planner - digital and/or paper - buy it or design your own
• Vision board - pictures or words
• What apps or computer programs help you most?
• I like Trello, gTasks, Calendar, Notes, Evernote, email

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Since we didn't have time to do the vision boards, we're going to schedule another evening later this month to do that at someone else's home. I'm looking forward to that! 

I'm glad I did the Goals Gatherings and hope to do more in the future. We may also try to get some of this on video, but I will probably do this separately since much of our interactive discussion is private. I am guessing I will do very short videos for each section. 

Have you ever done something like this?

Virginia