Sacramental (Big Words)

These tangible memories of my mother

are not just sentimental.

To me, they are almost sacramental:

symbolic of her essence and  

powerfully binding, in a good way.

It started simply as a place to display the bird figurines I brought home after my mother passed away in July.  I cleared the top shelf of one of my bedroom book cases and arranged to my heart's content.

Then the sympathy cards...

Then blanket made by church members 

while she was in the 

hospital those long weeks.

And her sewing box, 

which may also have been

my Grandma Hess's sewing box.

 Next, the vintage books.

I only brought several home this time,

but I had more from previous trips,

as well as a shelf full of my father's.

Many of the vintage books are inscribed

with the beautifully handwritten names

of my grandparents and great-grandparents.

I added their photos to the shelves today...

Charles and Mary Graves Hess

with two of their children

Coray and Olive Ransom

My great-grandmother Olive Wrislar Ransom 
and my grandmother Dorothy Ransom Hess

This pocket watch,

found in the sewing basket,

is etched with the initials OEW.

That would be Olive's.

From Mom's kitchen to mine,

the star shaped baking molds

which I've been using,

this time for blueberry muffins.

 And the mini-heart tins I gave her years ago...

And finally, in other places around the house,

the stained glass pieces,

all gifts from my mother...

The mirror, a college graduation present,

which I rehung today.

The rainbow dove, a first anniversary present

to match a window in the fellowship hall 

of the church where we were married

Nativity scene

The camellia and magnolia stained glass

There is more,

like her clothes and necklaces I've been wearing,

but that is enough to show for now.

As the months go by, I will rearrange again,

put things away from this makeshift shrine.

But I will never forget.

Her real legacy 

was her love.

My mother, Mary Graves Hess Quarrier
and my grandmother, Dorothy Ransom Hess,
in July 2013

Tributes to my Mom:

• In Memoriam: A Tribute to My Mother, Mary Quarrier
• A Eulogy is Also a Beginning
• Radiant Nurturer: Recent Photos of My Mother
• Vintage Photos of My Mother

Strength in Hymn

(all related to Mom)

• No More Night 

• His Eye is on the Sparrow
• Let There Be Peace on Earth
• Be Thou My Vision 
• For All the Faithful Women
• Sweet Hour of Prayer
• In the Garden (When the Caregiver Needs Care)

This post is the second in my new Big Words series.  The first: Sanctuary.

Grace and peace,

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

Homemaking (An Index to My Blogs)

Dear friends,

I have a whole bunch of posts about homemaking on two of my blogs.  I've finally compiled an index of most of them below in several categories, and I have also created a page for them with a link at the top of this blog which I will try to keep updated with future posts.  There may be other homemaking posts currently on my blogs that I have not added to this index yet.  You can probably find them in these category tags: Homemaking at Virginia's Life and Homemaking at Come Weary Moms.

You might also like my newest post on my main blog: Twenty Years, Ten Kids, One House.

Homemaking Inspiration:

• "The Blue Bowl" and Thoughts on Making a Home
• Refresh and Renew: Quilt and Pansies
• Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? Not Me Yet!
• Busy & Creative at Home (with links to organization blogs)
• Knowing That She Hath Wings
• "My Glorious Dishtowel" Redux and More 
• Creativity AND Order (They Aren't Mutually Exclusive!)
• Let Our Ordered Lives Confess the Beauty of Thy Peace...?

 

Room-by-Room in our Home: 

• Kitchen Organization Ideas from a Mom of 10
• Decorating and Organizing Bathroom Areas on a Budget
• Welcome to Our Living Room
• The Impulsive Decorator's Room Redo #1: The Front Hallway
• Turning Angst into a Clean Closet
• A Desk for Mom (Featuring Habitat for Humanity)
• A Space of My Own (My Desk Again)
• Not-So-Extreme Makeover: The Front of Our House

 

Season-by-Season in our Home: 

• Easy Autumn Decorating on a Dime
• Autumn: A Pretty Home and Yummy Food on a Budget
• Easy Christmas Decorating on a Dime
• Easy Spring Decorating on a Dime
• Springtime in My Front Hallway

  

Home Organization Tips: 

• First Steps to a Tidy Home / Children & Chores
• "Bin There, Done That" (Or How to Keep School Clutter from Turning You Into a Basketcase)
• Organizing First Aid Supplies, Medicines and Supplements
• One Mom's Trash is Another's Treasure
• A Place for Everything
• Household Organization: Clutter, Clothes Storage and Chores

Laundry: 

• Organizing and Laundering Your Linens
• Mt. Washmore (Laundry for a Large Family)
• Doing the Wash: Grandmother’s “Receet”
• And You Wonder What I Do All Day?
• "My Glorious Dishtowel" Redux and More 

Food:

I have a whole page of links about food and grocery shopping!    It's not always completely current, but you can find it here: Food.  You can also see entire blog posts with the tag of Food at Food Glorious Food at Virginia's Life and Food at Come Weary Moms.

  

Click away, my friends, and welcome to my home!

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

Sanctuary (Big Words)

"The circumstances of my life can be so troubling.  

The outward look is not always promising.

What counts is the inward reality, 

the inner focus and perspective and gaze.

It will not happen if I do not purposefully cultivate it --

tend to it, water it, nurture it.

Here the joy, pleasure and delight are revealed.

Here is the sanctuary.

This is not necessarily a place, 

but a space I carve out 

for myself to be in God's presence.

It's a space in my heart and in my time ~ ~ 

a pause, an embrace, a calm rest.

I can carry it with me back into the fray.

Sanctuary is awareness of God's presence...

   sacred
    set apart
      serene
        sacramental
          simple
            shalom
              shield
                salvation
                  safety.

One of my daughters gave me this Psalms journal for my birthday two years ago.  It has short passages from Psalms with room on the facing page to write my own reflections.  I started using it during a particularly frazzled season of life.  Then I stopped.  I picked it up the other day and was struck by a verse with the word sanctuary in the day's passages:  

"Lift up your hands 

in the sanctuary 

and bless the Lord." 

Psalm 134:2

Sanctuary is what I wrote about, and that's what you see in this blog post.   It's another frazzled season of life with the kids starting school and me starting a new teaching job, and lots of other stuff going on, not all of it pleasant.  (Like grieving the loss of my mother.) I need sanctuary.  And that means investing the time that I don't think I have, with the God who turns a meager pile loaves and fishes into an abundant feast.  I come weary and leave refreshed. I think I'll go back and read something I wrote a while back:  Busy, Dizzy and In a Tizzy: Christian Contemplation for Moms and Other Frazzled Folks. 

You may also like the more recent entries in my Strength in Hymn series:

• His Eye is on the Sparrow
• Let There Be Peace on Earth
• Be Thou My Vision
• Sweet Hour of Prayer
• For All the Faithful Women
• Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
• Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

This is the first post in my new Big Words series!  More on that later...

Grace and peace,
Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com
 

You Have Loved Us First (Prayers by Søren Kierkegaard)

"You Have Loved Us First"

(Prayers by Søren Kierkegaard)

Father in heaven! 

You have loved us first; 

help us never forget that you are love 

so that this sure conviction 

might triumph in our hearts 

over seduction of the world, 

over the disquiet of the soul, 

over anxiety for the future, 

over the fright of the past, 

over distress of the moment. 

 

But grant also that this conviction 

might discipline our soul 

so that our hearts might remain 

faithful and sincere, 

in the love which we bear 

to all those whom you have 

commanded us to love as we love ourselves.

Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

I found this in on my iPod today in a rather random place in my notepad.  I'm not sure where I saw it originally last year, but it speaks to me this morning right where I am.  There is so much going on in our lives, it is easy to fret.  I need to find that calm conviction.

Here is another Kierkegaard prayer that I found...

You have loved us first, O God, alas! 

We speak of it in terms of history 

as if You loved us first but a single time, 

rather than that without ceasing. 

  

You have loved us first many times 

and everyday and our whole life through. 

When we wake up in the morning 

and turn our soul toward You – 

You were there first – You have loved us first; 

if I rise at dawn and at that same second 

turn my soul toward You in prayer, 

You are there ahead of me, You have loved me first.

When I withdraw from the distractions of the day 

and turn my soul toward You, 

You are there first and thus forever. 

And we speak ungratefully as if 

You have loved us first only once. 

 

The other day while traveling in North Carolina on our way home from vacation, I purchased the book A Brief Guide to Ideas by William Raeper and Linda Edwards.   As a mom trying to be a good example to her kids, I believe in stretching my brain and learning new things, and I figured that a taste of philosophy from a Christian perspective might do me some good.  I'm glad to see there is a chapter on Kierkegaard, a Danish Christian philosopher who believed in experiencing God by faith and continually choosing to renew that trust.  I know I wouldn't agree with much of what he wrote discounting the value of reason.  Yet I am touched by his childlike faith expressed in these prayers, especially in light of the fact that his own childhood in a pietist home is described as "isolated and unhappy" and "deeply affected by the guilt and religious gloom of his father."  (See how American naturalist John Muir responded to the same kind of upbringing: The Fruits of Harsh Parenting.)

I want my children to experience joy and liberty in their faith in Jesus, rather than rigid duty and a sense of spiritual failure.  I want them to be who God uniquely created them to be. I want us all to be in a close relationship with God. I can't choose faith for my children, but I can model it as I "withdraw from the distractions of the day" and overcome "the disquiet of the soul." That is a challenge for me. I need God's help, the reminders of his love that I find in Kierkegaard's prayers. "Grant that conviction might discipline our soul" so that I, too, can be faithful, sincere and loving - as God is and wants me to be.

What about you?

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

P.S. The zinnia and butterfly photos in this post were also taken on our way home, the same afternoon as I bought the philosophy book. You can see more of my botanical photos from Sarah P. Duke Gardens in North Carolina.

Our Road Trip and a Little Care Giving

Dear friends,

If you read this Come, Weary Moms blog but not my others, you might wonder where I've been.  The answer?

Traveling north!

I've been on an extended road trip with my six younger kids, ages 7 to 18.  We left Florida in June 24, took three days to travel seeing sights along the way, and have been staying at my parents' home in Maryland ever since.  My 18 year old daughter is flying home today, but the rest of us are leaving in our mini-van Friday morning, stopping at the Manassas National Battlefield (Civil War) on our way out of the D.C. area.  By the time we get home this Sunday, we'll have been gone for three whole weeks.  


I'm really glad that my cousin Jean lent us her GPS when we stopped to see her in Chapel Hill on the way up.  It's been a huge help getting around town on our frequent forays.  We'll give it back to her on the way back down!  I always look forward to seeing her and her sister Marge.  They have been so kind to us.  This trip, they loaded us up with road trip snacks!



Anyway, even though I haven't written here on this blog, I have posted a photographic series on Traveling North.  Here are the links so far:

• Ft. Pulaski
• Tybee Island
• Historic Savannah
• Chapel Hill
• Luray Caverns
• National Zoo
• Visiting Great Grandmother
• Swimming in the Patapsco River
• Water Balloon Fight and Lacrosse Game
• The Fourth of July and Smithsonian in D.C.
• Celebrations of Birthdays and Recovering 

My mom and her mom,
who  hadn't seen each other in over a month.

I had been wanting to drive to Maryland this year already, but then my mom called and said that since she was having two surgeries this year and couldn't make it to Florida, she and Dad would pitch in for gas and hotels so we could come up.  What we didn't know then is that three weeks after her back surgery, she wouldn't even be home yet.  She's been bouncing back and forth from hospital to rehab because of severe complications, including a MERSA infection on the steel rod in her spine. So part of our time has been spent visiting her!  I'm glad we could be here to help cheer her up and relieve my sister from non-stop care giving.  We have also visited my 98 year old grandmother in her nursing home and taken her to see my mom in rehab.  As of yesterday, Mom is back in the hospital again.  I took the flower picture at the top of this post near the hospital chapel yesterday.  More flower pictures from when I flew up to Maryland by myself last month: A Bouquet for My Mommy.

One of the practical things I did is clean out the refrigerator and reorganize the kitchen.  I know Mom is going to be limited in bending over, lifting, twisting, etc.  So I tried to put things where she could easily reach them, or where my sister or a hired home helper could easily find them.  I even labeled cupboards and drawers.  I tossed out old food and put other opened food (like nuts and crackers and cereal) in Tupperware and Rubbermaid.  I put all the mugs in the same cupboard as the coffee and tea.  I moved less used appliances -- like the meat slicer that my late grandfather used until he died a few years ago -- from prime spaces to less accessible places.  I bought some fresh dish towels.  That sort of thing.  It took me several hours, but I had a blast!  Occasionally, I would look out the kitchen window and see a deer grazing in the yard.  Beautiful.

We did have a few mishaps on our trip -- a parking ticket, smoke coming out of the van, stitches in the emergency room, a lost child in a big place, a really bad rash that required a doctor visit, a few broken dishes, and what else?   I'm trying to be the Chill Mom and take things in stride.  Handing out quarters (for good behavior) and chocolate (just because!) in the van sure helps keep kids happy, as does a lap top, a pile of DVDs, and a collection of iPods.  

I also taped a decorative coaster to my dash board that says "Blessed are the gentle."  When I start stressing out while driving, I just reach up an pat it as a reminder.  I bought the same one for my mom for her hospital room as a "gentle" reminder for the nurses.  Most of them have been perfectly lovely.

Much as I have enjoyed our travels, I'm looking forward to getting home and spending some time with my husband, four oldest daughters, and two adorable grandsons.  My fourth daughter is leaving for a semester in Australia and New Zealand later this month, and my second daughter and her husband just arrived home from a mission trip to Bolivia this past week.  We've got a lot of appointments coming up, too, including an interview for a part-time teaching job in a home/private hybrid school.

While I've been gone, I have also added two new posts to my Strength in Hymn series at Watch the Shepherd.

• Before the Throne of God Above 
• Love Divine, All Loves Excelling 

Older posts in that series:

• In the Garden (When the Caregiver Needs Care)
• Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us (moms needing tender care to lead children)
• As a Tree Beside the Water 
• Fairest Lord Jesus
• Let the Beauty of Jesus Be Seen in Me 
• I Dare Not Trust the Sweetest Frame? 

Until next time,

Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

Linking here next Wednesday:

Adorned from Above

Raising Homemakers

Whole-Hearted Home

Wise Woman Link Up

Walking Redeemed