Melancholy

Yesterday I felt melancholy because....

My feminine hormones were playing their monthly mischief

and

I hadn't slept well

and

there is a whole bunch of stuff 

our family has faced

and is facing 

and will continue to face

that just overwhelms me

and

the economy is tanking

and the world is going to hell in a hand basket

or so it seems if you read the news too much

and

I spent hours doing laundry 

and cleaning the kitchen 

and tidying up the dining room

and I just know someone is going to come along 

and mess it up again and again and again

(they already have, by now)

and

my kids need more help with their home school assignments

than I would prefer to give them - 

and we have to turn it all in at co-op classes on Monday

and

my hands and feet hurt from arthritis

and my back hurt from life-in-general

and

not everyone in my house was even attempting 

to be kind with their words and actions

(that would include me, of course)

and...

(there's more, I'm sure, but lets not dig)

{melancholy indeed}

and so...

What did I do about it?

I cut myself a lot of slack

and

lowered my expectations

and

locked my door and told the kids

they were better off staying away from me

for a little while, at least

and

took a nap

and

thought about a song we sang on Sunday

"Love Came Down"

and

wiped away my tears

and

played my turns on "Words with Friends"

and

hugged and thanked the teenage son 

who told me several times

that I was "a good mom, really"

and

tried to think nice thoughts about God

(with whom I am sometimes angry)

and

took another nap

and

prayed a few little prayers

the "Lord, have mercy!" kind

and

went on the web 

and read a poem

"Psalm of Life"

and watched a video

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story 

that my smart daughters mentioned on Facebook

and

read a blog post The Exact Right Word for Sadness

by Addie Zierman

who always puts it into words my heart gets

and

wiped away my tears again

(thanks for that, Addie)

and

made dinner for my family

and

avoided watching the presidential debates

(I hate politics)

and

called a close friend

who faces many of the same challenges that I do

who prays for me more often than I pray for anyone

and who helped me think even more nice thoughts about God

(with whom she, too, is sometimes angry)

and 

went to bed

with grace in my head

and didn't wake up until morning

and yes!

I am feeling much better now

thank you very much

{jolly indeed}

"Love Came Down"
by Brian Johnson

If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice
I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe

I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours

(There is more, so listen here: Love Came Down)


Note: The photos in this post were all edited with Picasa. I used the "heat map" feature for the first one, "HDRish" for the second, and a combo of "holga-ish" and "cross process" with the last one.  And of course I used a little creative cropping for all of them.  The P52 Photo Project  theme for the week is "Sad" and my first photo is my submission for that.

P52 Photo Project